All My Manga
by The Real Cookie Monster
Summary: In a large jumble of things, we enter the world of naruto/vampire knight/ouran/etc. where anything is possible!
1. Chapter 1 Me and my Didgeridoo

**Note: All my manga is a giant combination of different stories, so they will be a lot of different scenes. Please Enjoy!!**

**ALL MY MANGA**

Chapter One  
Me and my Didgeridoo

It was dark…and quiet…too quiet. Kaname sat in a cold,  
stone room, tied to a chair. How did he get here? Who had tied him  
up like this? Would he be back to Cross Academy soon to creep out the  
day class students? He couldn't answer a single one of these  
questions. Something was not right.  
"Is somebody out there?" He called into the abyss. "I  
seem to be in quite a predicament…" he trailed off. There was no hope  
in anyone finding him here…wherever "here" was.  
"Kaname Kuran," said a voice to Kaname's left. "It's been a while."  
The dark haired pureblood recognized the voice. "Zero Kiryuu?"  
Zero stepped out into Kaname's view. he looked somewhat  
normal To Kaname's surprise, but slightly  
crazier, if that is even the right word. His silver hair was flying  
in every direction, and he had a maniacal look in his eye. He also  
held something that looked like a giant flute in his hand—perhaps some  
instrument of torture?  
"Zero, buddy, you've really let yourself go…" Kaname tried  
to joke with his old acquaintance, but Zero did not look amused.  
"Do you know why we've brought you here?" Zero asked,  
pacing in front of Kaname.  
The pureblood shook his head. "No. And who's we?"  
Zero shushed him by hitting him over the head with his  
instrument. "I ask the questions here, buddy."  
Kaname forced out a laugh. "Okay, yeah, go on…"  
Zero continued his pacing. "You have been taken here as a  
captive…a guest, if you will."  
"I will not." Kaname interrupted, thus receiving another whack.  
His captor glared at him coldly before continuing. "A  
guest at…Camp Death and Torture. Sound fun?"  
Kaname hesitated. "Not really."  
"Well that's just too bad."  
"You haven't told me why you've brought me here yet."  
Zero smirked. "That reason is for me to know, and for you  
to find out."  
Kaname narrowed his eyes. "And when do I discover this reason?"  
The silver haired vampire shrugged. "In a chapter or two.  
Maybe three."  
"Alright, good enough for me."  
Zero smiled. "Super. Now, the first camp activity is  
music." He brought his instrument out from behind his back. "Do you  
know what instrument this is?"  
Kaname's eyes widened in fear and disbelief. "No…It can't be…"  
"Oh, contraire. It is! This here is a didgeridoo. It is  
possibly the greatest instrument on the planet." He brought the  
didgeridoo closer to Kaname's face. "I take lessons every week, you  
know. In fact, this morning, I had to interrupt my good friend  
Victoria because I was late for a lesson."  
Kaname was frozen in terror. "Please, Zero, old buddy, spare me!"  
Zero chuckled, and began to play. The low droning noise  
filled the room, driving Kaname past his limit. He rocked back and  
forth in the chair, in an attempt to free himself, but only ended up  
on the ground. He screamed—a high, rather girlish wail that could be  
heard in the orchestra hall above…

**There you have it the first chapter of all my manga!! Yay! Please give us a review!**


	2. Chapter 2 Calling in the Pros

**Chapter Two**  
**Calling in the Pros**

What Kaname didn't know was that the room he was trapped in was really the basement of a grand orchestra hall—the home of the Fantastic Kazoos. Every day the orchestra members met there with their kazoos to fine tune their skills for their semi-annual concert. The band was especially proud of their two finest kazoo players in first and second chair: Senri Shiki and Hanabusa Aidou. The two were just practicing their duet when the wail echoed through the hall. Hanabusa tilted his head, listening. "Shiki, does that sound a lot like—"  
"—Kaname?" Shiki finished. "Yeah it does."  
"Well, should we investigate?"  
Hesitating, Shiki blew a few random notes on his kazoo. "Yeah, I think we should…and I know just who to call." Shiki got out his cell phone and dialed a number. It took  
a few rings for them to answer. "What do you want?" said the voice onthe other end of the phone.  
"Hey, um, I need some help." Said Shiki nervously.  
The voice paused. "Go on."  
"See, our leader, pureblood vampire Kaname Kuran, has been kidnapped…we think." Hanabusa tried to ask what was going on by miming with his hands, but Shiki was too focused on the call to  
notice. He must be talking with an important detective, or something of the sort.  
The voice on the other end sighed. "All right. We'll send out our finest detective and his…assistant." They hung up immediately.  
Shiki breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes…"  
"What was that all about?" asked Hanabusa.  
"That was Akatsuki."  
"Kain?" Asked Hanabusa in surprise. "My cousin?"  
"No, not your cousin, but there are rumors that he's joined." Shiki put his phone back in his pocket. "Akatsuki was originally an organization started by Uchiha Madara in the ninja world. Ninjas who abandoned their villages would sometimes join up with them. They're famous for their long black cloaks with red clouds on them."  
"So why were you calling them when all we need is to find out who kidnapped Kaname?"  
"Over that past few years, it has been turned into a detective agency."  
Hanabusa nodded. "Oh, I get it. So when do we meet the detective?"  
"Right now." Said a voice behind them.

**Give us a review please!**


	3. Chapter 3 Kaname's Secret

**Chapter Three**  
**Kaname's Secret**

Meanwhile, Zero paused in his didgeridoo playing. "Enjoying music class so far?" he asked.

"NO!" Kaname was still on the ground, tied to the chair, his hands pressed to his ears. "MAKE IT STOP!"

Zero whacked him again with the didgeridoo. "Stop yelling!"

"OKAY!"  
Zero stood up and started pacing again. "I think it's about time I tell you why you're here." No answer from Kaname. "You have some information that I need."

Kaname looked up. "What do you mean?"

He received another whack. "You and I both know thatnyou've been hiding something."

"What have I been hiding?"

"YOU, KANAME KURAN, ARE A RUSSIAN SPY!"

Kaname just sat there, mouth opening and closing like a fish. "I am not!" he finally spat out.

Zero put Kaname's chair back the right way. "You are a Russian spy. You have been working for Borchten and Philippe."

Kaname tried to speak, but no sound came out. It was all true. He had been working for Borchten for four years; he hadn't thought that anyone would find out.

"No answer, eh?" Zero disappeared again, but came back with a table and some sort of machine. "No matter. You'll answer to Mr. Lie Detector whether you like it or not…"

**Trying out ways of formating all my manga! Give us a review!**


	4. Chapter 4 Investigation

**Chapter Four**  
**The Cinnamon-Haired Intern**

Hanabusa and Shiki whipped their heads around to see that the speaker was none other than Hanabusa's cousin, Akatsuki Kain. It was quite strange seeing him in the long black cloak with clouds on it that matched his hair almost exactly; Hanabusa was used to seeing him in a night class uniform.  
"Akatsuki?" The blue-eyed kazoo player said in disbelief.  
"You're Akatsuki's best detective?"  
"No, I am."  
Both Shiki and Hanabusa gasped in surprise. "Uchiha Sasuke?" they both spoke in unison.  
"The one and only." The handsome detective flashed a charming, slightly creepy smile before setting his briefcase on the table before him.  
"Now we need to work out some guidelines here." said Akatsuki, stepping beside his employer.  
Sasuke turned to his cinnamon-haired in tern. "Akatsuki, I really don't think it's necessary for you to be here now…not that I don't appreciate you, but you're just not needed here… at the moment, at least. I'll give you a call when I need some help."  
Akatsuki's smug face fell. "Oh." He uttered. "I guess…that's reasonable…"  
Sasuke gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Come on; don't let it get you down. I was a beginning detective once too."  
"I suppose you're right." Akatsuki sighed, turned on his heel, and walked back out of the orchestra hall.  
Shiki and Hanabusa exchanged awkward looks before continuing the discussion about Kaname.  
"So, tell me what you guys know." Sasuke demanded as he settled down into a chair.  
"Kaname Kuran was kidnapped," Hanabusa stated.  
"Do you have any proof?" questioned the investigator.  
"We heard a scream, didn't we, Shiki?" Hanabusa exclaimed enthusiastically, looking over at his fellow kazoo player.  
"We're not positive, but we're pretty sure it was Kaname," Shiki replied.  
For the next few minutes, the sleuth interrogated Hanabusa and Shiki, asking them questions like where they last saw the victim, what Kaname looked like, and where they thought the screech came from.  
When he was satisfied with the answers, Sasuke stood and adjusted his robe.  
"Well then, it seems like I'll have to do some investigating here then." He cleared his throat. "Could I have everyone's attention?! Please make your way out of the orchestra hall. We are investigating a crime. Not to worry, we will have it all cleared up as soon as possible and you will have your concert hall  
back. That is all." Much to Shiki's surprise, almost everyone followed Sasuke's orders and exited the auditorium. The only one that protested was the conductor, Annie.  
"Do you seriously think you can just take over the home of the Fantastic Kazoos?" she yelled, along with several profanities.  
"Don't worry, we'll handle it." Said Shiki, grabbing Annie's wrist. "She has breakdowns like this every so often."  
As Hanabusa and Shiki led out the crazed conductor, Sasuke could hear them saying something about 'nice men in white coats with a big needle', but he decided to ignore it and get to work…

**im pretty shure this is hard to read, im working on a way :) give us a review! that dosnt have to do with how it not readable :)**


	5. Chapter 5 Mr Lie Detector

**Chapter Five**  
**Mr. Lie Detector **

"M-Mr. Lie Detector?" Kaname stuttered. "Does he always tell the truth?"  
Zero dropped the table and machine in front of Kaname.  
"Oh yes. He's never told a lie in his life. But he's a special lie detector." Zero took something that looked like a needle and jabbed it into Kaname's head, resulting in a yowl of pain. "He reads your thoughts directly, and not just your pulse rate.  
Kaname gulped, and he felt a bead of sweat run down the side of his face. In about a minute, Zero would know his biggest  
secret. He didn't know what the consequences would be yet, but he knew that whatever they were it wouldn't be pleasant.  
Zero hooked the machine up, flicked the switch, and began to stare at the monitor intently. It was only a matter of seconds before he found what he was looking for. "Of course, I knew you were lying all along, Kaname, but I needed proof. And right here is all the proof I need." He turned the monitor so Kaname could see what it read:

I, Kaname Kuran, am a Russian spy

Zero tore the needle out of his head.  
"So what if I'm a Russian spy?" he snapped. "What does that mean?"  
Zero chuckled. "Nothing."  
"Nothing?"  
"Yes, nothing."  
"Then what's the real reason I'm here?"  
"That is the real reason."  
Kaname was speechless. "This is madness!"  
"THIS IS SPARTA!" shouted Zero triumphantly, shoving Mr. Lie Detector off the table.

**I think Zero has gone bananas, i still love him 3. give us a review!! **


	6. Chapter 6 Akatsuki's Dream

Chapter Six  
Akatsuki's Dream

By the time Akatsuki got back to his house, it was almost sundown. He decided to turn in a bit early, thinking sleep would ease his mind… It was cold and dark that night, Akatsuki rolled uncomfortably in his bed. He clutched his stuffed bear, Honey, as sweat dripped from his face. "Ahhhh" Akatsuki yelled, "damn" he sighed as he hit the pillow for the seventh time that night. "If this keeps up I'll never get any sleep". Lately, Akatsuki had trouble sleeping at night, probably because of all the stress at work, but possibly the fight two years ago? No, that couldn't be it. He'd been having the same troubling dream night after night; his fight with Hanabusa had been bad but it never really affected him until now. Akatsuki took another sip of his water taking, two pills along with it, and he began to drift into deep sleep. But the dream was still there. It was Hanabusa, but not just one: six Hanabusas greeted him in his dream, all singing or playing an instrument merrily.  
Suddenly, the scene changed to Hanabusa guiding him onto a cake, as the Hanabusas sang 'Material Girl.' "Hanabusa, Hanabusa!" Akatsuki called, but as always, Hanabusa never heard him. Soon after the dream drifted onto a beach where Hanabusa sang every breath you take. Again, Akatsuki called to him. "Hanabusa! Answer me! Please!" Akatsuki pleaded, but as before Hanabusa failed to listen. Finally they arrived in a great hall, but it wasn't mysterious like the others, this hall is where they used to come as children on Sunday nights. Hanabusa began to sing with all the other Hanabusas, but Akatsuki had made up his mind. "Hanabusa, where are you, why won't you answer me, is this about what happened all those years ago? Please, can't we put that behind us and start anew? After all those years of following Yuuki around all I learned from it is that people change, we've changed, can't you see that? So please Hanabusa…can't we start anew?" Akatsuki violently shook Hanabusa, but Hanabusa's reaction was not pleasant. He just stood there with the same, unchanging expression, almost like a doll. The dream began to disappear, along with the flooring of the grand hall. "Hanabusa!" Akatsuki yelled, but to his surprise he awoke in his bed with a pounding headache. "Ugh," he gasped, holding his pulsing head. But only one thing played through his mind: Hanabusa.

**aka! u can live! live! dont worry hanabusa is ok!!**

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	7. Chapter 7 A Meeting on the Beach

**Chapter Seven**  
**A Meeting on the Beach**

The next day, the orchestra hall was still closed, so Hanabusa decided to spend his day at the local beach. The weather was decent, warm enough to go in the water, but all Hanabusa did was stand on the sand, staring into the ocean. Anyone, even if they didn't know him personally, could tell that something was on his mind. He had been hoping to go the whole day without seeing someone he knew when he heard a familiar voice coming from his right: Tamaki.  
"Hey, Aidou!" Tamaki called out, as he ran towards Hanabusa, expecting the usual high five as a greeting.  
"Not right now, Tama." Hanabusa sighed, trying to avoid Tamaki's eyes, afraid of what he might see.  
"Is something wrong?"  
Hanabusa turned away from his old friend. "Nothing really…well, sort of."  
Tamaki grinned. "Come on, Hana, you can tell your old pal Tamaki anything."  
Hanabusa hesitated. "I feel like I have to settle that fight between me and Akatsuki."  
"Well then, just talk to him."  
"It's not that easy."  
"Hanabusa, why don't you just find his address? It will really help sort things out if you go and talk to him. Trust me." Tamaki's gaze never wavered.  
Slowly, a smile appeared on Hanabusa's face. "Thanks Tamaki, you really are a true fri—"  
He was cut off by his cell phone ringing. "Sorry, I really have to take this call. It's Kafal. It could be urgent."  
"No, no, I understand. Go ahead."  
Tamaki watched Hanabusa as he crossed the parking lot to take his call. He had always liked Hanabusa, but now he realized that there was something special about that boy. His mind and soul harbored ideas and passions that he engulfed himself in, and Tamaki could only longingly wonder what happened when one was fully emerged in those thoughts. He gritted his teeth as he heard the boy's laugh drifting from the lot's other end. He hated Kafal at the moment, the reason was unclear to him why his fist clenched and his skin tingled in agitation. Kafal, that vapid, dumb child, she wasn't supposed to make Hanabusa laugh like that—that was Tamaki's job. He craved bringing that kind of joy to Hanabusa. He clenched his eyes shut and drifted into an angry and confused pensive state... Tamaki blinked rapidly, the earlier few moments had become a blur. He had no idea what had come over him, what had possessed him to have those dark feelings subsist in the depths of his soul, and Lord, he wished he knew the answers...

**Tamabusa!! poor tamaki his feeling cant be expressed :_( **

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	8. Chapter 8 Tragedy Strikes the Akatsuki

**Chapter Eight**  
**Tragedy Strikes the Akatsuki**

Akatsuki had just gotten out of a meeting with Madara, his boss at the Akatsuki Headquarters, when his headache started to get even worse. He pulled out his favorite brand of smokes and a lighter, hoping to distract himself as he walked through the halls to the exit. Turning a corner, he met up with Kisame, a coworker of his.  
"Hey, Aka!" Kisame slapped Akatsuki across the back making him cough up smoke. Akatsuki cringed at being called 'Aka', his least favorite nickname. "You up for some extreme Frisbee tomorrow?"  
"Damn it, Kisame, I have a lot on my mind right now, and there's no place for you or extreme Frisbee." Akatsuki said coldly. He gave Kisame a dirty, angered look before throwing his cigarette on him and storming off. As soon as he excited the hall, his chest began to burn, not the love type of burn, but the painful type. Akatsuki coughed and coughed, but the pain didn't go away. Hanabusa, he thought, where are you? I need to know! I need to fix this! Those thoughts were the only thing keeping him going. He pushed his way through the parking lot and managed to grasp the car door. Just then, his phone began to ring. Quickly checking the caller ID, he saw that it was Hinata, his fiancée.  
"He-Hello?" Akatsuki answered shakily, barely managing to say a word.  
"It's me, Hinata. Are you alright?" she asked worriedly.  
"Yeah, I'm fine, just getting into the car."  
"Are you sure? You sound terrible."  
"No, no, I'm fine. I'll…be back…in…" His voice trailed off as he collapsed to the ground.  
"Akatsuki? Akatsuki, are you alright?! AKATSUKI!?" Hinata panicked and kept yelling into the receiver, but Akatsuki had blacked out…

**Akatsuki!! NOO! call 911!! vampire down!**

**give us a review**


	9. Chapter 9 A Romantic Discovery

**Chapter Nine**  
**A Romantic Discovery**

Hanabusa hung up his phone; Kafal was just whining again about how she missed Heath Ledger and read him a few haikus she had written. Unsure what to say, he had to cut her off. He turned his head to walk back to Tamaki but stopped mid-step. A strange look had crossed Tamaki's face, the boy lips were contorted into a filled, longing smile and a curious spark had formed in his lovely eyes. Hanabusa cleared his throat and looked up to face a startled Tamaki.  
"Hanabusa!" Tamaki's voice shook, he averted his eyes from Hanabusa's inquisitive gaze, color rising on his face.  
"Tamaki..." Hanabusa said quietly. Nothing was really to be said, Hanabusa knew that look, as it was one he got frequently. It was a look of love, undying love, a look of passion and lust and craving. A primeval need fueled the look, the spark of insanity helping to carry the emotion throughout the body and Tamaki was doubtlessly engulfed in that feeling. He looked up at Hanabusa defined face meekly, unsure of what his next move was to be. He began to move toward Hanabusa, the blatant passion radiating between them. He inched closer and closer in pure ecstasy, his dreams finally coming true.  
Tamaki leaned in a blurred exaltation, his eyes closed and his lips pecked those of Hanabusa's. He stayed there, for a moment as hisfantasy slowly dissolved into obscurity, Hanabusa pulled from the grasp Tamaki had laid on his back and his wrists. "Tamaki..." he said, his voice low and full of sorrow.  
Tamaki looked up at him, his throat burned as he realized his mistake... "I'm so sorry…"  
Hanabusa looked down at the dejected boy, his heart sinking in his chest... "I'm sorry Tamaki... but I love someone else..."  
Tamaki's hurt eyes widened as they reached his, though Hanabusa knew he couldn't say the name: Akatsuki.

**TAMAKI! being rejected :( poor guy.**

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	10. Chapter 10 Rima's Relapse

**Chapter Ten**  
**Rima's Relapse**

Hinata was on the verge of a meltdown when she dialed the number of the one person she could trust at a time like this: Senri Shiki. It seemed to take ages before someone picked up, but at last she heard a voice. "Hello?" It was his girlfriend, Rima Touya, most likely drunk.  
"Um, hi, is Shiki there?" Hinata said tensely  
"And who might this be?" The girl said with a nasty tone in her voice.  
"Please, this is an emergency. My fiancée is dying." Hinata yelled, time was of the essence and Rima was not cooperating.

"So what? Listen, hun, lemme tell you a little somethin' about marriage. It is for the cows. I got married once but it ended up in a unsightly divorce. So darlin', dear, you sound like a decent girl, but just because your honey moon happy phase is over, doesn't mean imma gonna allow YOU to put them moves on my Shiki, okay babe?"

The intoxicated Rima seemed to be losing all senses and Hinata was beginning to think about who else she could call but her frantic thoughts about Akatsuki caused her to freeze up. On the other end of the line Rima and a man who was most likely Shiki were arguing. Hinata heard the sounds of something crashing and debated whether or not to put down the phone.  
Then a familiar voice came through the phone: Shiki. "Hinata?" he whispered. In the background the girl was yelling obscenities at Shiki, before screaming and possibly collapsing on the floor.  
"Shiki! I need your help! Akatsuki collapsed at work and he won't answer his phone and I'm not sure what to do!" Hinata gasped for air, and in sheer panic she waited for his response.  
"All right," He said after a moment of hesitation. "I'll be over there in a second, please try to stay calm. Take some deep breaths or something." There was almost a sense of undying compassion in his voice but Hinata was too crazed to notice…

**Love this chapter, "marriage is for the cows" :) rima knows all**

**give us a review**


	11. Chapter 11 The secret of the Beret

**Chapter Eleven**  
**The secret of the Beret **

After Zero's outburst in which he broke Mr. Lie detector, he calmed down a bit and started interrogating Kaname about his life as a Russian spy.  
"So, first of all, why?" was his first question.  
"Why?" Kaname replied, shifting in his seat. "Well, to put it simply, I wanted…to be something more than a vampire. Namely, a spy."  
"But why Russia?"  
"They told me that if I did well enough as a spy, I could send people to Siberia as much as I wanted to."  
Zero narrowed his eyes questioningly, but continued. "What information were you trying to get from us?"  
Kaname hesitated. "Why should I tell you?"  
The vampire hunter disappeared for a moment, but returned with an electric cattle prod. Kaname spoke without need of any more  
prompting. "N-nothing important. Just…well they didn't tell me exactly what they were looking for. They just told me…"  
"What?!" snapped Zero, brandishing the cattle prod.  
"They wanted…a hat."  
Zero turned on the cattle prod. "A hat?" he asked, extremely skeptical.  
"Not just any hat!" Kaname corrected frantically. "A…beret."  
Zero still didn't believe him and jabbed him with the cattle prod.  
"GAAH!!" he yelled. "I WASN'T DONE!!" when he saw that Zero was going to let him finish, he did. "One of Hanabusa's…berets…as you know, obtaining one of Hanabusa's enchanted berets is the only way to enter Cross Academy."  
Zero gasped dramatically. "No…Borchten wants to go to Cross Academy!?"  
"So it seems…" The pureblood trailed off.  
Zero slammed his fist down on the table. "Kaname Kuran, do you understand what they could do if they had the beret?" Kaname shook his head. "They can take over Cross Academy."  
"Oh, well, that doesn't sound too bad." Kaname said lightheartedly.  
"Well, it is bad!" Zero yelled. "Think about it: They take over the school, vampires are kicked out of the school, vampires  
go to normal schools in order to get an education, vampires bite mortals, vampire secret is exposed—FAIL!"  
Kaname said nothing for several seconds. "I never thought about it that way." He finally contributed.  
"THAT'S RIGHT, YOU DIDN'T THINK AT ALL!!"

**he really didnt think at all **

**sorry to all those kaname fans out there, ur just going to have to watch him suffer :)**

**give us a review, that dosnt have to do with ur love for kaname :)**


	12. Chapter 12 Yuuki Goes Crazy

**Chapter Twelve**  
**Yuuki Goes Crazy**

Sasuke had just finished investigating in the orchestra hall. The situation baffled him; he found no relevant information pertaining to the crime, only various flyers for the Fantastic Kazoos' concerts, kazoo sheet music, etc. The investigation didn't seem to be going anywhere and Sasuke was just about to quit when a deranged Yuuki came bursting through the door.  
"WHERE IS HE!?" she shrieked. Seeing Sasuke, the girl ran up to him, attempting to push him down. "WHERE'S MY KANAME!?"  
Being a ninja, he moved out of the way at the last second, which caused Yuuki to crash into the wall at full speed. By the time she regained consciousness, Sasuke was just walking out the door to go back to Akatsuki headquarters.  
"Hey, you!" she yelled. "What did you do with my Kaname?!"  
The ninja detective spun around at the sound of the psychopathic teenager. "Oh, you're not dead. I suppose that's a good thing. Well, I'm actually working on a case that involves this…Kaname…of yours, but I can't talk right now. I work at Akatsuki if you need more information. Bye, now." With that he left the orchestra hall.  
Yuuki stood up and dusted herself off. She would have yelled at him more if she wasn't still stunned by the fall. Instead, she decided to investigate a bit by herself. After all, how reliable was this 'Akatsuki' anyway. Having read one or two mystery novels, she knew what to look for: trapdoors, moving bookshelves, secret staircases—all the clichéd places where someone would be hidden. After about an hour of searching, Yuuki had just about given up hope when she sat in one of the seats in the front row. There were no secret entrances anywhere! Where was Kaname?! Was he alright? What if he was dead? Yuuki looked up to the stage when she realized she was talking to herself. Her gaze scanned the room once more, and she noticed something out of the ordinary in front of the stage. Could it be? Yes, a trapdoor! How could she have missed it before?! Without thinking, she opened the door, stepped in, and fell, screaming all the while

**Note: im not a sasuke fan, my heart belongs to zero 3 **

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	13. Chapter 13 Cherry Berry Sakura

**Chapter Thirteen**  
**Cherry Berry Sakura**

Sakura sipped her iced tea, only one thing on her mind: Sasuke. She pushed her drink away from her and sighed. "Do you think he'll ever come back?" she said, almost to herself.  
"Ok, Sakura, this has gone on long enough. You've got to stop moping over Sasuke! Just because he's found someone else doesn't mean you have to sit around and be depressed, girl!" her unfortunate best  
friend Rima told her. "Think about it this way: your life is practically perfect—good job, friends…and what do I have? Nobody. Nothing."  
"You have Shiki." Sakura argued.  
Rima hiccupped. "He left. Last night. For some chick named Hinata."  
Sakura sighed. "I guess we're both out of luck, then."  
Rima smiled, showing slightly yellow teeth. "Well, you never know, there are plenty of fish in the sea."  
"Excuse me, but are you, by chance, Sakura Haruno?" a voice called out softly. A man a little bit older than Sakura came from somewhere behind her, his red hair blowing freely.  
"Sasori?" Sakura said, confused. "I killed you."  
"Um…do you know each other?" Rima pointed awkwardly.  
Sasori ignored her. "I see you haven't changed much, Sakura, but who might this lovely lady be?" Sasori made Sakura's name sound like song.  
Rima giggled in her drunken manner "Oh, Sasori, you con. Well, my boyfriend happens to be puttin' the moves on Hinata so maybe you and I can have some fun." Rima had obviously had too many drinks, for she couldn't see that Sasori was not interested in her. He only had eyes for Sakura, but she, being the diva that she was, wouldn't even look at him.  
Rima, on the other hand, was falling all over the place. "Waiter, could we have some more drinks please?" she called to the bartender.  
Sasori stopped her. "No, no. This round's on me." He yelled waving a fifty dollar bill around like he was king of the bar.  
"Oh no, Sasori, I don't drink!" Sakura huffed, but it didn't stop him from ordering for her.  
"You'll be fine after a few, you won't even feel it" Sasori whispered his last phrase, as though it implied something else.  
"Well I don't know about Sakura but I can't resist a free drink" Rima hiccupped, changing the subject.  
Sakura's face began to become pink to match her hair, for she knew his deep brown eyes were locked on her. He began to lick his lips and with every movement Sakura's face became a deeper shade of red. After an awkward silence probably only noticed by Sakura and Sasori, the drinks arrived. About two hours and several drinks later, they all lost it.  
Rima was nowhere to be found, Sakura assumed she would be sleeping on some other drunk guy. That just left Sakura and Sasori…

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	14. Chapter 14 Kyouya Goes to Mobile

**Chapter Fourteen**  
**Kyouya Goes to Mobile**

If there ever was a day not to be late it was now. All that ran through Kyouya's mind was getting to that hospital. Unfortunately, Kyouya had just awoken in a town called Mobile, Alabama. "Why the hell am I here?!" he asked himself when he was greeted, rather drenched in egg nog, by none other than Yagari Toga. He looked a bit odd though, he wore a large red jacket, and his hair was turning purple. He held a gold egg and a carton of egg nog in his hand.  
"Kyo! Jenja budu, camadsia helui popanana!" Yagari rejoiced in a strange tongue.  
Kyouya was not as amused. "What the mother humpback is going on!? Where's the hospital? I have to operate immediately."  
"Hey, take it easy Slim Jim! You took some serious blows to the head and, well, here you are now!" Yagari seemed to be the one who had suffered too many hits on the head.  
"Will you just tell me why I'm here?!" he shouted in Yagari's face. "I need to get back soon, we're running out of time and—" Kyouya cut off after Yagari threw the egg at his face.  
"Take a chill pill. See, here in Mobile, we spend our days eatin eggs. You'd better develop a taste for them, 'cause you ain't goin' nowhere" Yagari tossed him his carton of egg nog. Kyouya looked at him in disgust before Yagari continued. "We also look forleprechauns. There's a leprechaun in that tree over there and I want the gold. Give me the gold."  
Kyouya stared at the tree that Yagari was referring to. "This is…absolutely insane. I really have to get out of here." He started to walk around Yagari but was stopped.  
"So how've you been?" Yagari mumbled through his constant drinking. Kyouya still couldn't believe anyone could drink so much egg nog.  
"Well, I was supposed to be operating today. Apparently the guy has some lung problems."  
Yagari wasn't listening to most of Kyouya's complaining. "So who the lucky guy?" It was clear he needed to see a doctor, for he seemed to imply that Kyouya was getting married. (But as matter a fact, Kyouya been unhappily married for five years now, soon to be a single surgeon. His wife, Konan, insisted on naming their three kids Vodka, Ashtray, and Banjo. The two fought frequently and were getting a divorce that week.)  
"So how are your kids doin'? What are their names? Vodka, Ashtray, and Banjo? Man, those are some bad names. Course they ain't my kids so foo what ever it is you want to foo." Yagari fell on the ground, still gulping down his egg nog.  
"Foo?" Kyouya asked. "Perhaps I should take him to a doctor, course I've heard Zero's gone whacky too." The surgeon received no response. Yagari started singing "Living on a Prayer" in a slurred voice, and then fell down a hill.  
"Yagari?!" an alarmed Kyouya sprung into action. Without thinking, he gulped down the egg nog

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